i am still learning that it would be easier for me to tell Master everything instead of holding it in and having Him drag it out of me. Mind you i don't do this on purpose, its just something that i am still learning. i have always had to handle things on my own, bad, but still on my own. i stress and stress and let things bother me until i end up telling Him. Funny thing is He knows something is bothering me. How the heck does He do that? His knowledge of me continues to amaze me.

i should continue to remind myself that He handles everything. He is in control and He will take care of me. He controls everything that happens or will happen. How stupid of me to forget. Perhaps it was because of the time being away? Although i do still need to learn to just tell Him everything no matter how minor it is. i promise to work on that better.

So.....i'm horny. i want to be in front of Master playing. Having Him watch me. Showing Him the need in my eyes. Then fucking me hard from behind when He allows me release.......Hmmm, something nice to think about as i put myself to bed.

In the past Master has tried to control me financially. I am in dire need of this control. He was unable in the past due to unforeseen circumstances, but He is back in control now. As always, the more control the better. The more connected i am to Him, the more i want Him, the more i need Him.

...........i need Him now